Your mates, heart, head, legs and lungs can do that for you.
It's that time of year again when the books have to be in, and mine seem to say that I'm making a loss.
The accountant wants to know where all that profit I made last year has gone.
According to the books I had a pretty good road and circuit season. They also show that I invested in trips to Belgium and the Pyrenees. And finally the accountant is querying the balance between the start and end of my cross season.
Truth is I got a bit tired, tired of having to get up early every day of the week. So I needed a break and had to do something different.
Problem is the five month long cross season has eaten away at my profits. Fear of being tired for a weekends racing has meant something like just two long rides in six months. Getting dropped on a climb you lead up last year tells you all you need to know.
So the first thing I did when I got this news was to act like a kid and say #### it, done this long enough so #### it. I've won races and there's no way that's ever going to happen again so double #### it.
Then I went to my room and spent some time reflecting on my attitude and realized that actually I did want to keep on doing this. The problem is that between getting dropped and deciding I did want to race again in 2016, I'd developed a taste for late nights dancing to bands in places frequented by ladies with tattoos that drink whiskey and dance. Which, by the way is still better than freezing your nuts off at 8am on a fast 100 with a load of blokes.
Still I wanted to race.
The bathroom scales show me at 68kg so not too shabby. The dancing has it appears kept the weight at bay. My core seems to be stronger, again the dancing? But my legs can only just about ride me out of Leighton Buzzard! Plus they're hairy for the first time in years. I can't shave them yet. That would be like writing a cheque your legs couldn't cash, and we know how bad the books look already.
How I want Sunday to be
|How it'll probably be!|
Right it'll have to be the club fast rides, I'm going to get dropped. I'll definitely grumble like ####. And it WILL hurt, but I need that investment right now.
I've just looked at the GCN video telling people how to deal with getting dropped it's that bad.
But it's cards on the table time.
And you can't cook the books. Well you can.
So I meet the board this Sunday, the truth will out.